Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Genesis: Gospel of Amuda

Besides being a quizzer, quizmaster, editor of RAVE, content manager at MSN, knowledge consultant, designer, writer, image consultant, agony uncle, budding film story-writer, Amuda is also the co-founder and the guiding spirit of RVQuizCorp.

We at QuizCorp doff our (imaginary) hats to him.

"One fine afternoon, in those hey-days when there were no Cafe Coffeedays and RVCE was still far away.
Bunking was a crime and you had lechs and lecherers, whom you couldn't slime...
And a canteen served a masala dosa for Rs.4, Kesari bath for 2:50, Chow Chow Bath for 4:50, coffee for 1.25...
Matrix wasn't yet a movie and matrices was a pain in the posterior...
Those were the days...
When there was no google... And to ogle, you had to take a field trip all the way to BMS ( It was rumoured that the re-release of Anarchy in the U.K. was inspired by the BMS Archi babes). These field trips were well worked out: Route Map - From RVCE to KR Market - Rs 2, Biriyani + free Sherwa + Kachumbar( aka salad haze) at Taj, 25 bucks, consumed in the morning! Followed by morning show 11:30 (Any film running in Naga, Shanthi, Aunty's house ...). Then BMS...I guess you get the point.
I think back and wonder as to why did we ever get to doing something as constructive as Quizcorp?

I guess its time to reveal how and why it was started.
Noble and Nobel intentions we did possess, but what drove us to start this "legacy"?
It's all clear now.
The answer is "Meat!"
Our yearning for flesh in its most fried and gravied form. Unavaible it was in our canteen, and unassailable was our yearning.
The answer was Prince...Dreamland came much later... then came all the gin joints which would put even a Rick to shame... We went to Prince... Prince Dhaba.
The word Dude hadn't yet percolated our vocabs so we said Macchan. "Be careful order only chicken... The bongs in the hostel said the mutton here kinda tasted weird the other day and that the hostel dog, Mingu was missing..."
Gopi, Ranjeev and me...we decided to order. Gopi wanted Paneer something and roti.. Ok ..take it... We'll have one gravy, one dry "item", and rice. Rotis were a definite no-no..Oryza sativa will rise to the occasion...Anna, we'll have anna. "Aaiythu saar,ondh ippath nimisha aagathe. items thayar maad bheku," said our patron..for translations, Babelfish awaits...
But...
We always did things in style... Doggy style...
Boss, banni illi
Heyli Saar
Mutton items , yen idhe?
Aaah..Adhu..
Aaaiythi ri yen mutton item idhiyoo, thagon banni...
Ok Saar
Ranjeev as usual was taking Gopi's ass, Gopi was putting Ranjeev back to his "subterranean levels," when I said...So what do we call it?
What do we call what?
Call our quiz club? The name needs to be appidiye konchum abstract and all..
Ok, lets call it Kadi Khattiya?
What?
See that cot there and the way it stands, hence...
Oh!
Hey,F****er, every effing Dhaba has cots standing.
Machan, see how it stands...unflinching against the sun.
Unflinching only until I put my ass over it...
You only wanted it abstract
Aama, periya Piet Mondrain
People, the name needs to be lucid, easy to understand and represent the college, got it?
Point.
Where is the effing food, da?
Point

R.V.C.E...What you think?
What R.V.C.E?
We'll call it R.V.C.E....
And why the F**k?
R.V. Curious Enough?
What say? We can use it as our quiz team name too?
What say, Gopi?
Hmmmm....
Gopi, stop pissing us off with your deep hmmms...
Hmmmmmmm...
Ok.. on second thoughts..
No second, or you pay the bill.
Ok we'll call it R.V.Curious Enough?
Our motto: Rum, Rasam and Rasa Prashne...
Let's talk to Sridevi Maa'm tomorrow...
Done...
But, Kindly don't tell her the motto...
Ok,da. Pah!
Aah! Food!
Mutton yelli saar?
Idhay saar..
Gopi want a bite into some nice meat?
Gopi, you heat me.. Why don't you eat me
No, I'm comfortable, thank you
Funny, cut it, handsomes.I have my hands full and don't even wanna think about/ imagine the possibility of you heroes in meaty roles/rolls
It's past six.. let's leave
Get the bill.
Boss, billu...
Tea, coffee?
Aaiythu muuru (3) coffee...
The man wielded the bill ...
There was this sinking feeling in the stomach
Machan,check this?
Boss, bill is correct?
Yes, Saar...yella correct...
The Mutton dish costed lesser than the chicken..
Smile...
Were we curious...
Were we curious enough?
Yes, we were...
And we still are...
RV Curious Enough?

So why QuizCorp? What's the funda? Why the name?

(P.S. The name R.V.Curious Enough? was later changed to Quizcorp, to add a professional touch.)

On the same lines some fundas on names of people and what they actually meant....

Watzinaname?

A name - if the party had a voice -
What mortal would be a Bugg by choice
as a Hogg, a Grubb, or a Chubb rejoice
or any such nauseous blazon?
Not to mention many a vulgar name
that would make a doorplate blush for shame.
if doorplates were not so brazen.
- Some Vague Poet

His name's an Anglican nickname for a handsome man. The fact that it has its origins in the French word for son-in-law seems contrived. The truth is it's not. The name is Beavis, yeah, Beavis! After this, the origins of his friend's name seem fundament-al.

This saint was popular in the Middle Ages in areas in and around Canterbury, his name in colloquial Latin roughly translates to 'ever-increasing'. So were his folds of followers. An adoption of a version of his name manifests itself in the name of a creator of more interesting characters. The most memorable, take their name from another saint (whose name translates to 'blessed'). The French mispronunciation of this saint's name lent these characters their names. (Are you with me, so far?) Well, the name of the creator was Jane Austen (from St. Augustine), the characters --the Bennets (from Pride and Prejudice, who take their name from St. Benedict)

The Bible has spawned many a name on the human populace. Did Adam ever know that his name meant "of red earth" in Hebrew; not that there were many people round then to call him a muddied oaf! Joseph translates to 'may god add more children to the ones already born' and since all oaths were taken in his wife's name, she became a word in the English language - marry.

Tendulkar, Gavaskar, Vengsarkar and all the other 'kars' you can find, carry the names of their native villages, a common practice amongst most Indians. Gandhi gets his name from his ancestral occupation - perfumesellers (gandha - Sanskrit for perfume), the Nehrus, originally the Kauls (a regal race from Kashmir) were awarded land next to a canal (Nahar - colloquial for canal) by the then Nawab of Kashmir, a commendation that adorned their name.

The Parsees keenly follow the practice of using their occupations in their names, Dubash for instance is a translator (a man who knows more languages than one) though, there are exceptions to this rule. Nari Contractor, for one...

Barbers in Bengal, generally carried the name Biswas, literally driving home the point that you have to trust him with your throat when you want a close shave.

Did Jim Morrison ever know that his name roughly translates to - "let god protect the dark-complexioned"? Or, did McCartney realise that his name in Gaelic meant "son of a bear"? Incidentally, the word Arctic also as the same root - Arctos, Latin and Gaelic for 'bear'

There's a place called Nome (if you don't believe me, check the globe) which got its name because the French cartographer didn't know what the godforsaken place was called. So, he wrote - Name? in French on the map. What happened to the question mark, nobody knows, but the name stuck. For those who know that Kangaroo means, "I don't know " in Aborigine, Yucatan means exactly the same for exactly the same reason.

Pigs were called cookers in New Zealand because James Cook was the one who first brought them there.

The icon, Marshall Tito got his nickname from his habit of often commanding his sub-ordinates to "do this, do that" which directly translates to, you know what. Incidentally, numerous Sikhs named their children Titu after his visit to India. So if you meet a Titu or Tittoo Singh, go ahead and enlighten him.

They say that names tell you a lot about a person. In some cases however, they seem to say too much. Take Rabri Devi; one version about the origin of her name is that as a newborn, her face was as smooth as rubber. The other is that it's a common Indian sweet. Considering the fact that she's got sisters called Paan and Jilebi, I'd rely on the second. And guess what? In fact, she's named her two daughters Misa (or should I say M.I.S.A) because she was born during emergency and Kursi, to reiterate the point that her husband got a 'seat' in the Assembly.

Original, kya?"

2 comments :

Anonymous said...

Lo,

Amudanage eno gothu image consultancy bagge....aa loafer nanna maga bari kurta haakondu irthano..yaavaglu daadi irathe avaneface mele...nimma thara RV bachchagalu mele roaf hodithane...olle devaru thara treat maathirapa avanige..."agony uncle" definition gotha....an uncle who gives agony to others, esp those much younger than him (like you RV kids)....asli Amudange nanu nodidino...entha kharaab nanna maga andare...nyways, bithaku..I had to demystify Mr Amuda....coz I know him inside out....I've held him in my arms when he was a kid...

Amuda therima na yaara....guess pondre macha....

Raki

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